Squirrelly Arts: N3W5

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Ok, our secret is out... Yes, it's true. We have no drummer. Which by the way = we're fake. That doesn't mean we're a figment of your imagination silly! It just means we're not a real band because we didn't follow the cardinal rule of having a live drummer. Oh yeah, and we don't have a live bass player either. Some smart drunkard blurted out about the fact that we don't have a drummer! Thanks alot! Now everyone knows. Well, now I know how Ashlee Simpson feels.
So on to other things. Um... Oh, ok! We played last night in East County San Diego at a bar called Second Wind Navajo. Now if you are not familiar with East County... Yikes! It's fun for the whole family! Alright so get this mind-boggoler~ So East County is full of bros and bro-hoes that l*v rap music and hate metal. but they're all like "I hate em Niggers!" Yeah, well that makes as much sense as Chubbaca living on planet Ewok. (If you are a Star Wars buff and I didn't spell something right, I don't care. But I'm trying to make a point so don't interrupt me again!!) It just does not make sense! It's ok to hate, but damn it, can you at least have a good reason. Don't just get on a bandwagon with the Neo-Nazis and Bros, make your own you Turkey. It's not any more hard than that. Like I should be talking, because obviously we jumped on the Manson bandwagon. Hey, how come we're not accused of ripping off Slipknot, Mudvayne, Motograter, Berzerker, Insane Clown Posse and Mushroom Head... they wear masks and make up too! I'm just kidding, I know why. Call me master of the obvious, it's because Manson is a gimmick... but the real question is why did you read through all this if you think we're a gimmick... Sucker!
Now copy and paste this in your bulletin or your going to have 69 bad sexual experiences! That's worse than just plain bad luck!
::Vikki::

Dude, maybe Hot Topic is becumming so unpop with the kiddies that they rely on shittly local bands like us to make them look kool again? Just a thought. Oh wait... Fuck that! I'll be the first to say I support Hot Topic! I buy my socks there. If you're a local store and you crumble, it's because your store and your attitude sucks! To all you little wannabe fashionable punker kids who think they know everything about everything, here is a little piece of knowledge for your pea sized brain. Everything is Corporate! Remember that the next time you pass some US currency at the mall. Dumb dumb.
See you there July 3rd at Hot Topic ;)
::Vikki::

Dear Daria,
If I'm a dick and you're a pussy, does that mean you take it?? That's just a question all Shaolin Signal fans who came out last Saturday should ask themselves the next time they look in the mirror. I mean what else could you look at in the mirror besides the biggest pussy ever! Haha, if you are reading this and think I'm a jerk off... you are probably right. What will make me laugh is if Shaolin Signal reads this themselves... No Shaolin Signal, I don't hate you yet, I just think your fans take it. That's all. By the way, where was your "Betty Page army" to support you?? I was looking forward to alienating them. You know the ones with the look that states "I want to be different but we all look the same." Well anyways, Everyone was pointing fingers last Saturday, so I say blame it on Creep (Eternal Unborn) for putting us on the bill. We're that apple starting to rot from the inside out. We look alright on the outside, until you bite into it... first we have your attention, then we just leave a nasty taste in your mouth that lingers weeks after the incident. Well that's what happens... So if you are like, "I like Shaolin Signal and Squirrelly Arts fucked everything up!" Blame it all on Creep because he knew prior that we would fuck everything up! The 8teen Center already blamed us for everything, so I'm just trying to connect the circle of finger pointing. It takes a team effort! Well I guess next show we'll totally fuck up will be June 16th at Second Wind Navajo. YAY!! We return to East County! So if you can bare listening to us after a few shots to numb the pain, go ahead and grab your cowboy boots and cum on down! Until then, I leave you with this... FUCK THE PEOPLE OUTSIDE!
::Vikki::

Gearing up for this Saturday (May 23rd) at the 8teen Center... which is all ages by the way. We'll be raffling ZOMB13's mask at the end of our set. It's $1 to enter the raffle, so don't bitch! See you there...

Squirrelly Arts will be performing @ Dream Street this Saturday! A little bit last minute, but some sluts needed to be filled at Dream Street. Don't worry Drew we may have bailed on you tonight, but we're cummin' Saturday night! There will be no rest for the anal! We make shit happen.

Tonight: Draind, Savage Machiine, and The Fucklordz hit the stage @ Dream Street!

We (meaning Squirrelly Arts) will be raffling off one of ZOMB13’s dildo-faced-gas-mask-thing-of-a-jig after our set on Saturday, May 23rd @ The 8teen Center. You should enter the raffle because it’s only $1 and we need to feed ZOMB13 with that money.

“This is bullshit!”
Three manly men in baseball uniforms… That was their review on our show last night. I would like to know if that was before or after they saw penis. Yeah, we’re not sorry if we offended your sexuality or your ears. We tend to do that a lot. I have this theory I would like to share with you. I believe that homophobic guys are not good in bed. They’re too caught up in the image of trying to be that manly man wannabe gansta’ thug shit because they’re too insecure about if they watch me for too long… they might question themselves about if they would masturbate to it. You know I fooled you from behind! So be ashamed! If you’re a homophobic man that doesn’t “eat out”, are you sure you don’t like to “suck it”? Now I know that’s a long hard one to swallow. Swish it around for a bit.
The next time we make a bad influence on kids will be Saturday, May 23rd at the 8teen Art and Cultural Center. (Click here for show info)

Squirrelly Arts will be performing their dance number, "Why Dave cancelled the show at Dave's Warehouse at the last minute?" Featuring Eternal Unborn and VV Morgue with special guest: Order of the Fly! This will be Friday [4/24/09] @ the 8Teen Art & Cultural Center... That's where you should be. If not, you are about as homo-erotic as Creep (Eternal Unborn) and Vikki (Squirrelly Arts) humping each other on stage!

The show @ Dave's Warehouse has been cancelled for tonight. (4/18/09)

Alright, so I thought I would update this shit. I don’t know if these posts are considered news or just simply Vikki’s diary where I can bitch and whine like all my favorite cock- rock stars! As ZOMB13 would put it, “You whine too much.” Well tuff shit! It’s my diary not yours!! It’s okay ZOMB13, you know I l*ve you! Alright so first off, what’s really important… Let’s talk about last night. To set the fucking record straight, Dr. Lunchbox is with us, and if you don’t like it; you can fuck on! Now, to the people who don’t know what “fuck on” is… that’s where you get off all over yourself with a spurt of hostel fluid from your own conjunction function. Now that’s all said and done, you should probably know now that Ashley is officially my sister, so she is part of the Squirrelly Arts family. Talk shit, and you will get orally slammed with a dildo! Oh yeah, and if you weren’t at the show, I got served with an 80’s diss from a fucking cowboy! It was hysterical! I went to shake the Cowboy’s hand. I said “Thanks Austin for doing sound tonight.” His serious reply was, “Austin is not here, but I’ll tell him you said thanks.” Then he proceeded to walk away, without shaking my hand like I just got done jacking off and forgot to wash my hands. Or maybe he was blinded by the sight of my ambiguous characteristics. Man, he served me with a cold shoulder. I’ll tell you what, I haven’t been iced with that line since I was manufactured back in ‘85. Well, you better saddle up partner, because we’re scheduled at Second Wind Navajo two more times! May 7th and June 16th! You may make us sound like an empty aluminum soda can, but you can’t take that tang we just left in your mouth… it’s called jizz. Learn to swallow, then we’ll talk. But on a gayer note, you should cum see us Saturday at Dave’s Warehouse! It’s all ages and it’s free! We’ll be in good company with Eternal Unborn and Ruines Ov Abbadon! Side note to readers: I will refuse to stop my chaotic mannerisms until the day that I see two Christian rightwing conservatives go missionary on public access. Thank you. See you Saturday.
::Vikki::

To recap on this last weekend of playing Arizona for the first time, it turned out to be pretty successful. This is due to the fact that I felt like we mind-fucked the majority of the audience; giving goth scenester kids something new to talk shit about for a couple days before we are forgotten. Well if you hated us, you can blame your homeboys Ikonoklast for inviting us. Don’t think we’re just going to disappear though… we’ll be back soon to fuck your shit up once again. As far as cumming back to the City Of Plastics the following night, we would like to fuck each and every one of you in the mouth who decided to show up that night, especially Scarry Garry. Don’t worry, I like it concentual of course so I don’t feel too bad if I don’t get you off. I forgot to tell you Scarry Garry… it’s all about me when I hit the sack. I’ll make you my hooker, toss your ass to the curb after I’m done with it. It’s okay Garry, we are very entertained by you. R3 won’t shut up about you. We were glad to cum home and share the night with Eternal Unborn and The Fucklordz and all the SexXx Offfenders who can give a fuck. I know the feelings are mutual. Keep it Evil! We’ll see you on the 27th @ King Music, ready to kick bitches down another notch.
::Vikki::

Today we celebrate the feeling of something you can never take away from me. What Valentines Day has glorified... L*ve is gifts, money and "What can you do for me?" mentality. Now we take it back today. My gift of "love" to you consists of emptiness, worthlessness and anything below nothing, which means you owe me. If one day I make one girl cry to the fact that I am not a tool, I have left my mark and made a difference. My self gratitude, not yours. Welcum to the "me" generation. Now do what you do best and get on your knees...

LUV154TH3W3AK CAM[PA1N] today @ King Music
::Vikki::

King Music
3592 Main St A
Lemon Grove, California 91945
US

All Ages

$2 @ The Door.

Doors open @ 6pm

You know when you don’t have that special someone because you realized your hand will never fuck you over. Yeah, well it’s kind of like that. LUV154TH3W3AK CAM[PA1N] this Friday @ King Music! Bottle up the pain for just one more day. I promise it will be worth it.
::Vikki::

I entitle this news piece “The Nub”. I won’t mention any names or body parts. I don’t know why, but I think I bring the gayness out of straight guys because last night two guys tried to French kiss me, and I was like “EEEEK! I’m lesbian!” I was born with a penis as a deformity though. Go figure… I almost threw up a couple times after that whole experience. Yet again Second Wind put up with our debauchery with a team we should have called the train wreck trio: San who?, Magical Hocus, and of course yours never truly, Squirrelly Arts (Because I’m just a simple militant whore trying to get my mings wet.) Don’t forget to cum see us for the event that I cherish so much: LUV154TH3W3AK CAM[PAIN]: 2/27/09 @ King’s Music!
::Vikki::

Some might ask, “Well how was Mueller College last Saturday?” We were so entertaining that a girl was more interested in texting her over dramatic-life to some guy who doesn’t really care or she was picking a new ringtone. Again, I provided 2 choices for you. Pick one and continue reading. I was personally hurt, because maybe everyone is right… I am an attention whore and I needed her attention. Or I like mine better... I hate bitches! I was disappointed that I couldn’t get under her skin, but I was flattered she wasn’t into us! The moment that “So Cal” “Like oh my god have you heard of Six Reasons?!” crowd ever starts to like us; I would ask myself where did we go wrong? Maybe we should just stop before we get too deep. But I don’t think that would ever happen. Reason # 1: I can’t sing at all, so there goes my dreams of joining the San Diego pussy-bait pop-metal scene… I mean I haven’t fucked in 2 years so that’s telling you something… (That is the gauge for success in case you haven’t got the memo. How much pussy have you gotten since you started your shitty ass band?... None? Well then you have failed miserably and you should be stuck playing shows with Squirrelly Arts for the rest of your “rockstar career”.) Reason # 2: Damcyan can play their instruments way better than us. So how can we compete with that? By the way Damcyan, where did you get that girl who whores out your stuff at shows? I was thinking of renting one myself. Nothing sells the band like a piece of meat with a pair of tits!
::Vikki::

Do you like Damcyan and Animal Corpse? Boy, are you going to hate us! True metalheads hate Marilyn Manson, right? Well do you know what they hate even more?? Manson rip offs! You might ask, Vikki, how did you discover you're a Manson rip off? Well, like nobody else I listened to what the emo community had to say. Surprise metalheads, you have something in common with the emo kids. Maybe you guys aren't so different after all. Unite your metal anger and emo tears against us! So cum out to the Second Wind (Santee) this Wednesday and let us know how much we suck! Or you could just simply sit out in the parking lot until we're done, and be like "Man those guys suck. By the way, here's a fun little fact. Did I tell you I know everything about music?" Here at Squirrelly Arts we understand how important it is to keep your ego built up. "So tear us down like a whore" (rip off of a Manson song. You're welcum.) Stay Smug San Diego!

Last night was sexually destructive! We would like to thank VV Morgue and the Radio Room for putting up with our shenanigans! No worries VV Morgue, there were no implications for kneeling down before a Vikki… that’s just weird (Inside thing between the squirrels’ and the Vs’). I personally wouldn’t like anyone kneeling down in front of me… I would be like “Are you ok?” I mean usually I’m the one on my knees. I’ll tell you what I do like though! I like hugs! So hopefully you like hugs too, because when we play another show together I’m going to give you a big hug! Whoever wasn’t there, you missed something so unbelievably incredible! It shattered worlds! Creep McCreeperton (yes, that is now your new last name, given by me to you) from Eternal Unborn was actually sober during our set! That means there were no drugs in his system. I mean what?! Eternal Unborn sober??? Unbelievable! But it happened and I was there! Until next time!
Yours truly,
::Vikki::

Answer to the question on how Squirrelly Arts views women.
I think over the past year of performing, I’ve been asked a lot of questions about my messages. I most often do not feel the need to justify my art because my views have already been stated and you should make your own interpretation from it.


I would say that most questions or conclusions that people will pin me with pertaining to my supposed loathing for the female gender is quite interesting. Before you decide to skew this even further, I’ll state my belief rather than ignore your curiosity.


Let me set the record straight about what I mean about "Fuck Bitches". I do not respect girls who try to use sex as a tool to manipulate. Without sex they have nothing to hold over my head. So in a sense I feel like I disarm them for my wellbeing. What makes me sick about the media is they exploit that theme to me like I'm some mindless idiot who will jump at anything that sex will sell me. "A pair of tits! Well, I think I'll buy that can of soda."


Sex should have been art, not a sales tool.


For every girl that does not agree on how I depict or interpret females, you should realize that I know not every girl acts so blatantly dumb with plastic sexuality. My main thought to this is I took how the media and society depict women and I answered it with my own message. I refuse to conform to treat girls like a sex object or a piece of meat. I took pleasure to the fact that I would not be the standard bullheaded moron of masculinity. I like to call what I do on stage… a satire.


So I think before you accuse me as being a “woman hater”, you should take a look at what is on your TV. I thought you would be more offended by that, than me simply pushing back.

::Vikki::

Drop The Gimmick. It Makes You Look Cheap.

King Music had fun with us! We blew their fuse about 6 times in 30 minutes. Yes, the rumors are true that I single handedly blew the fuse twice out of the 6 times with just my huge ego. Yeah, because I wrote Strumpet and stuff? psshhh... more like our music sucks off Manson's tunes. Right?
Thanks to the following bands who took part in our 2 day rampage of screaming, carrying on and such: IDS, Bedpost Buzzards, The Fucklordz, Eternal Unborn, and the name I always have to “copy & paste” Skyzophrenia. (sorry, I’m too lazy to learn how to spell new things, or maybe I'm just stupid. You, the reader can choose your own interpretation.) Well most people can’t even spell our name right, so there!
If you were in the crowd at King Music and you were disgusted by our presence… you’re welcum! Hope to see some of you haters on January 31st because we’re playing with the Fucklordz again! It’s too bad for all you Fucklordz fans that hate us, because it just so happens that we’re friends with the Fucking Fucklordz… So Ha! You can’t get away from us! Eat shit!
Wednesday, we bring the hate to the Radio Room so go ahead and set some time aside to cum see us all over the place!
Oh yeah… before I forget… Fuck Plastic Bitches! Fuck you if you’re fishing for a compliment from me! No, I won’t fuck you! And most importantly, Fuck Pacific Beach! Yes, Mr. Tucker, I said it. You’re one letter away from Mr. Fucker. I didn’t know if you knew that.
::Vikki::

Thanks to who ever this anonymously anonymous individual is, he/ she has helped us reach an important goal! Here at Squirrelly Arts we try our hardest to be the worst at what we do! We have been honored to have Squirrelly Arts in association with San Diego Reader's, "Worst Local Craigslist Ads Of 2008"

"Do not support Squirrelly Arts! They are evil, and you will go to Hell even if you engage in listening to their messages of hate, homosexuality, and complete disregard for our Lord and Savior."

You're welcum SD! Thanks to everyone who has helped support us to reach such a tough goal of total shit and disaster! So keep talking shit because Suckin' ain't easy.

Free download of Girls On Film (Whore Mix) available on this site.
Go to “::N[]153” on the navigation bar.

You Tards are nuts!! What better way to start the Holiday Season with the complete anhilation of the City of Klan-tee! I was really looking forward to meeting the son-of-a-cunt that pulled a knife on Synn after our last show there! That guy really loves him some Jesus! Everyone must see these 3 bands before they die: The Gulag Carnies, The Fuck Lordz and Eternal Unborn. They have now be-cum our new partners in hate! I gotta say they are THE most fun to spread debauchery and chaos with! AHHHH, brings back good old fashioned memories of watching snuff films with good ol' Grampa! 'Til next time...........
-R3

I had fun playing with myself. Did you have fun watching? Thanks to The Reverend Stickman, Fuzz Huzzi, and Bedpost Buzzards for joining us last night. I’ll see all of you soon because you can’t get enough of me. I’m cute, cuddly and self abusive!
::Vikki::